Small Steps

I actually did some work today. Nothing shocking but enough to make a difference. I folded up most of the laundry, picked up living room, had boys pick up toys, and making late dinner. I planned on doing dishes but a nap became necessary. Tomorrow I want to tackle the kitchen and laundry.

It's hard to get things done as Liam can't be trusted with Aster. He's begun throwing things at her while she's in her swing. Good grief.

Changes!

Aster Ysabeau joined our family on 8/1. She is sweet and the whole family loves her. Some more (Daddy) than others (Liam). With her arrival I feel our genetic family is complete (we're very open to adoption) I also feel that there are major lifestyle changes I want to make.

I'm embarking on a new journey. There are characteristics and habits that I want to cultivate to enhance my quality of living and that of my family. For starters I want to keep the house cleaner. I know that sounds lame, but I was never taught the proper value of keeping house and having a routine. I would like my house to be in reasonable shape at all times. Point blank, I want my mother-in-law to stop by at any moment and not be embarassed or hear her comments. I'd like to have habits like eating at the table, picking up before bed, and staying on top of the dishes. I also want to get rid of the tons of excess we have. I'll have to focus on myself and the children for now because Kurt will go into a panic. I'm kinda reading that Fly Lady book, but I stopped when she started talking about getting fully dressed every day and putting on shoes with laces.. lol.

The second area (which should be the first come to think about it) is to spend a little time each day with God. I think I'll start doing devotions every day and start a journal just for that purpose. The boys (wait, Aster is a girl so I should say "Children) and I will do prayer time each morning and I'll write down daily what comes of it. I need to be able to still my mind and just BE. No t.v. no music etc.

The third area is homeschooling! Miles is 4 now and I'd like to start a preK/K type curriculum. I'd like him to be able to write his name, trace letters, draw basic shapes, know some basic site words, learn the days of the week and months of the year, practice some basic math, and learn more about whatever interests him. Right now he loves dinosaurs. I have these goals loosely set to reach by the end of the school 'year', but I feel this will be a more laid back style. A nice mix of homeschooling and unschooling.

Finally, I hope to keep this blog up faithfully. It will serve as my source of commitment. I want to regularly share the ups and downs as I work on implementing these things into my life. It will serve as a witness. I hope that others will come along and take interest in my blog. I'll be honest with my success and failure. I also hope that you enjoy my humor! But if not, this will serve for myself.

I guess as a final note I'll add that I want to start trying new things for my fibromyalgia. Not at the moment but down the road. I'm nursing a baby for Pete's sake! Besides pain and sleep medication I'd like to try dietary changes, gentle execise and meditation. Who knows?

Well this is where my new journey begins. Let's hope I get a few hours of sleep tonight so I'm ready for tomorrow.

I Hate Glucola

So I took the 1 hr GTT. I failed it, and now have to do the 3 hr. I seriously hate drinking that stuff, think the test is flawed, and get ill when I don't eat and consume massive amounts of sugar at one time. I'm feeling rebellious. I wonder if I can just start eating the way I have in the past, without the test. Dr is out of the office tomorrow, but I'll call and leave a message or call Thursday.

I'm all supposed to be 'resting' but it's hard. When I want to do stuff I shouldn't and when I'm supposed to stuff I can't! I've decided on one of the middle names if this baby is a boy. It will be Kenneth, after my high school friend Kenny Wicher that passed away last year. I remember his infectious smile, sense of humor (and mischief) and the most remarkable growth spurt I've ever seen! About a foot over the summer of our Senior year! Now to come up with the other two names....

First OB Appt X-Post!

I got to hear the baby's heartbeat with a doppler and even got to see it on an u/s. Looked like a tiny pile of laundry. Not very babyish. I'm only 9 weeks so what did I expect? I feel the u/s took longer than necessary. Next time I'll speak up. I need to get some blood work done and a 1 hour GTT. I hate gestational diabetes!

Still nauseated and wishing the 12 week mark was 100% guaranteed to be the end of the nausea. Then I'd only have 3 weeks left. Although I did gorge myself at a buffet last night. It was weird because I actually felt the least ill I have in a long time! Weird paradoxical effect!

Slacker!

I've totally neglected my blog. I'm a bad, bad blogger. But I have a pretty good reason, I think. I haven't come out on Facebook or to a lot of people but I'll go ahead and post it here because nobody really reads my blog anyway! I'm pregnant with my 5th blessing! I'm happy and kinda shocked because I thought it would be harder at my age. Apparently my fertility isn't as diminished as many women my age. I pray for couples out there ttc to receive this blessing. I'm following my Above Rubies group and regularly pray for expectant women and women ttc from there. As far as being a good wife, that's not going so well. But my Mothering is still good.

I keep thinking that this will be my last pregnancy. I forget about the m/s. I can't believe there isn't a good cure. Although, there have been treatments in the past that have lead to horrible outcomes for future generations. I do hold on to the notion that m/s is a sign of a healthy, well planted pregnancy. I prayed for this baby, and God heard my prayer. I prayed against totally incapacitating m/s but accepted a little bit to ease my mind. Miscarriage is always a fear for most women. Weird rationalizations.

I wish Kurt wouldn't sit in my spot on the couch. I wish I had more help around the house. Even getting my energy back would be a big help! I'm so tired but can't really sleep. So annoying. But I'm still blessed.

I'm Still Here

I've been slacking off on my Blog! I need to keep it going. To catch up/update: I'm now 37, my husband and children are doing well, and I'm still alive! The CPAP does seem to help with this and I've added Tai Chi that I really enjoy. Of course I might not have perfect form (as I'm a living room practitioner) and follow a DVD as opposed to taking classes, I am reaping some benefit. I know that some Christians see the practice as incompatible with Christianity but I don't. I feel Yoga would be much more 'risky' for me. It is a form of worship, whereas Tai Chi is more like meditation. No chance I'm going to become Taoist any time soon. But I do need balance. Spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

My fibromyalgia has been flaring up lately. I blame La Nina! On another front I'm taking less prescription medication and more supplements. Including Vitex, progesterone cream and B6 for menorrhagia and they work great! I saw results the first month. I also swapped Trazadone (a hard med to stop) for Melatonin and I'm happy with the results. A study came out recently that showed that 'older' women going through IVF had better egg quality and outcomes after taking Melatonin a couple months before the egg retrieval. I'd love another baby or two... But if it doesn't happen I'll probably survive. I'm also going to start taking Inosotil and CoQ10. I'd better watch out or I'll be the next Suzanne Somers! They're both supposed to help with free radical damage, energy, and even mood.

I hit an interesting milestone on a forum I belong to. It's called Fertility Friend and on Halloween I marked 5 years of being a VIP member. Of course you have to pay to be a VIP but there are benefits of ad-free charting (more on that later) and discussion groups. I started using the free charting program before I married Kurt because we decided to use NFP (natural family planning) that includes BBT (basal body temping), cervical mucus charting (sorry if tmi, but hey, it's my blog!), cervical position and other signs and symptoms. I can keep track of my OPK tests too which I love. It's fun knowing these things and I'm somewhat of a POAS (Pee-on-a-stick) addict. Here's a link to my chart: My Ovulation Chart .

I highly recommend this site for women. It's worth the $45 a year. I have been getting free days from referrals. I have my chart linked in some of my siggys on different websites and peaks interest in others. It's such a great invention...

Anyway, I promise not to be gone for so long.

Blessings,
E~

CPAP Woes Solved, Sorta...

I've been noticing from the beginning that I was awaking each morning at about 3:30 to tear off the CPAP machine. It felt kinda like I was drowning and I had to remove it. I finally figured out that I've been opening my mouth to breathe which doesn't work. Also figured out that if I sleep on my side, I move the mask out of proper position. With these revelations I need realize one of those pillows for use with CPAP?BiPap users will be my best bet. There are many for sale on eBay, but I'll look elsewhere too.

I usually sleep on my side. It's hard to sleep on my back, and I never sleep on my stomach. After being pregnant a few times, you get used to sleeping on your side! And after not being comfortable on stomach (then a few months later on back) you grow accustomed.